Masturbation Is Self Love

It’s funny how across the world, masturbation is feared in many parts. It is often seen as forbidden, as a sin. In some parts of Asia, Africa and the Middle East, female circumcision is even still practised – the act of cutting off a women’s clitoris and sewing her up, so she will ‘not be tempted to cheat on her husband.’ They do this to children and it’s a sickening practise that makes my heart stop and my brain explode with fury.

Even in Britain, the church has always tried to discourage masturbation and deemed it sinful, but what’s the harm in a little self love? When you slip into bed after a hard day in the office, what better way to relieve the tension then indulge in a five fingered shuffle before you close your eyes and count sheep. That’s it, feel the tension just roll away!

If there is a Creator, why would he give you sexual organs (especially a clitoris) and then expect you not to make use of them! It’s like saying, ok ill tie back my little finger and not use it anymore. It’s going to make everything in life 100% more difficult, but God doesn’t want me to use my little finger because it’s wrong.  I’ve swapped penis/vagina for ‘little finger’ but it’s the same notion!

Why is masturbation wrong? Because you derive pleasure from it? Because it’s one of the pleasures in life that the government can’t tax….ah! We are getting somewhere now. Social control is the ONLY reason that such as act has been discouraged throughout the centuries.

Masturbation – The Health Benefits

So back to the theoretical big man in the sky. If he exists and had anything to do with it whatsoever, it’s like he’s given us a gift, an immediate ‘anti self destruct button.’ When a male ejaculates, his testosterone levels drop considerably, meaning those aggressive urges are temporarily gone, until the hormone builds up again.

When a woman orgasms, she releases oxytocin, the love hormone, leading to feelings of calmness. This triggers the release of cortisol – the big bad stress hormone that is a lead cause of obesity, heart disease and many more conditions. So masturbation not only keeps you calm, but it’s good for your health. Hmmm, I wonder how that fits in with Bill Gates’ depopulation agenda!

Personally, I’m probably at my most irritable when I’m going through an extended sex drought, everything annoys me and life seems to lose it’s zing. If I manage to find the time to reunite with my magic button and find my inner Goddess, that tension just melts away as if by – puff, magic!

Masturbation Is Knowing Yourself

Self love is a special kind of love because no one knows your body like you do. I’ve had boyfriends that tap away at your bits a good inch or so away from target whilst saying “Oh yeah you like that don’t you! You gonna come for me.” Whilst I’m thinking, ‘I’m more likely to throw up from boredom and frustration!

Some Like It Hot Some Like It Not

When it comes to a ladies magic place, some guys love it, go mental for it and love to play with it, tease it, lick it, worship it even! Yet they still can never know the area quite as intimately as the owner itself!

On the flip side, I’ve had boyfriends, well one actually, who really wasn’t keen on vaginas at all. He stated he didn’t like looking at women’s lips, he preferred ‘a more childlike look’ (Euuugh! – Help!) He didn’t like the inside either, as apparently a women’s insides look like raw meat. It goes without saying that he was revolted by the idea of licking a puss, stating: “Licking a woman is disgusting because that’s where wee comes from.”

Yes needless, to say the blow jobs dried up completely at that point and I pity him that he is so obviously sexually repressed and has intimacy issues. Still, each to their own. It saved me a whole lot of  jaw ache!

In all honestly, ones own pinkies are preferably. You can squeeze it in (no pun intended!) whenever you want to relieve some stress, carry on with whatever you were doing before straight away, and not have to give back anything in return – bliss!

Be Kind To Yourself

So, if you aren’t already in a solid relationship with your left or right hand, or both even, (and I expect you already are as a lot of my readership is male) then you are doing your mind, body and soul a disservice.

Connect with your sexual self, if only for 5 minutes a day. It’s the best stress reliever on the planet! I’m not saying that it could prevent wars, but if world leaders bashed one out before every meeting, they might be a little more amenable to compromise!