The Daily Sport’s resident Agony Aunt Kaz B answers your problems and requests for advice. To get advice anonymously on a personal matter e-mail agony@dailysport.co.uk
Dear Kaz,
I’m a 32-year-old guy with a good job and would consider myself fairy successful. The problem is my mother keeps asking me when I’m going to settle down and give her grandchildren. The problem is, I don’t see this ever happening. I’m not really interested in women, or men for that matter and I’m only sexually attracted to inanimate objects. At the moment, my heart belongs to my automobile Sadie – a blue Ferrari 488 spider. We enjoy a good love life together and sometimes I’ll sit in my garage and caress her or touch myself whilst stroking her steering wheel and soft leather seats. I know this isn’t normal, but am I supposed to settle down and have children to please everyone else? Sadie is my world and I’m not sure I can share that love with anyone else.
John, Oxford
Dear John,
What you are feeling is known as Objectum sexuality which is a term used to describe those who feel aroused by inanimate objects or feel strong feelings of love and emotion towards them.
Objectum sexuality is not a paraphilia or a fetish as it relates to feelings of romance, affection and love towards the object as well as sexual desires.
If marriage and 2.4 children is not something you desire, then you should not follow this path just to conform and please those around you. In the long run, it would most likely cause more upset and heartache.
The good news is that you are not alone. There are many others out there that feel the same way as you and there are support groups where you can build friendships and find support to come to terms with your preferences. Visit Objectum Sexuality Internationale – you can see their Facebook page here:
https://www.facebook.com/OS.Internationale
As long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else, no one has the right to tell you what is normal and what isn’t. I think you should accept yourself the way you are and choose to be happy the way you wish to be.
Dear Kaz,
This problem is killing me. I made the mistake of cheating on my girlfriend of two years. She found out and invited me around to her house and her best friend was there.
Everything seemed to be going well and we all got drunk together. A litre of vodka later, her and her friend offered me a threesome and whilst I didn’t think it was a good idea I was drunk and they were very convincing. Stupidly, I let them tie them up and blindfold me. I felt someone performing oral sex on me and I started getting hard but then they whipped off my blindfold and I realise it was a man fellating me!
They said that they had filmed it and would only delete it and forgive me if I ‘returned the favour to the guy.’ Very inebriated, I eventually agreed and one of the girls played with me until I ejaculated. They ordered the guy to do the same over me. I later found out that they had filmed the whole thing when a copy of the video landed in my inbox.
Now my girlfriend is saying that she will send a copy to everyone I know if I break up with her. I can barely even look her in the face after this incident and I know I don’t love her anymore, but I’m scared of what she might do if I finish with her. What the hell do I do?
Jack, 23, Wigan
Dear Jack
It sounds like you have been a very naughty boy although I do not believe that the punishment fits the crime and your girlfriend is indeed breaking the law. She has filmed you in a compromising position and without your consent.
In 2015, the Revenge Porn Law came into practise which dictates that those sharing “private, sexual images of someone without consent and with the intent to cause distress” can face imprisonment for up to two years.
This is not a healthy relationship, you do not need me to tell you that. You cannot stay in a relationship simply because you fear the repercussions of ending it. This is extremely damaging and could affect your self-esteem and mental health.
Make this female aware of the law and ask her to delete the videos. If you still have the e-mail, this is proof that there is intent to cause you distress. This is domestic abuse and harassment – see here for further advice and support:
Harassment Laws:
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/section/8A
Advice For Men In Situations Of Domestic Abuse:
http://www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-men/
Is she will not listen to reason then you must go to the police.
Cheating never ends well but you do not deserve to end up being mentally and physically abused.
You must also break ties with this woman and go no contact. It’s the only way forward.
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