Subbies protect yourself from scammers online

There are some wonderful dommes in our community who are empathetic, creative and put a lot of energy into nurturing their subs and creating a safe scenario and a dynamic in which the domme and sub can explore power exchange. Unfortunately, in every industry out there, there will be scammers who are drawn to the lure of easy pickings and have zero care or compassion for others.


The reason I’m writing this is because one of my subs recently got scammed and extorted out of money. I was on holiday when this happened and if I’d been around I would have reminded him to check the feedback of the provider in question before he sent money.


He sent across money for a phone chat session and within an hour or so received a message from a different number saying they knew his full name and all his details and would expose him unless he sent £100 but if he complied that would be the end of if.  He got himself into a real state catastophising, wasn’t thinking straight and sent the money.  The next day he received an abusive message that was extremely threatening in nature demanding yet more money. He blocked the number but then more numbers started texting him, the tone becoming increasingly threatening.

The provider claimed to be an innocent party and claimed it was her boyfriend, so it appears that it was either a scam both of them were in on or she had a pimp…or a gang of pimps. 

This is when my sub called me and asked me what he should do. I said that under no circumstances should he send anymore money, that he should state what they were doing was highly illegal and amounted to extortion, the maximum penalty for this, being 14 years in prison, and that he would go to the police and block every number. He did this and they stopped bothering him because these types of lowlifes will always move onto the next person and won’t bother with someone who stands up to them.

You should see being blackmailed (and we are talking without consent here, not in a fantasy roleplay with an agreed budget) as similar to negotiating in a hostage crisis, except the difference is, in this scenario they have less collateral than they think and hold the weak position. There are similarities though. Both threaten to cause harm and both will generally keep asking for more when each need is met. If you agree to send money whether its £50 or a £1000, they will keep asking for more as they will see you as an easy target. You must threaten legal action, then disengage and block, block, block! Never, EVER send them a dime. This is a weak move. Imagine it as a game of chess, they’ve just pulled out a bishop to threaten your King and instead of thinking logically about your next move, you become flustered and throw your queen at it, surrendering her to the pawn that sits behind, waiting to take her. This is not the right strategy. Take your time, don’t panic. These philistines want money. They aren’t about to spill your details quickly as then they have zero collateral. It’s a game they play to try and cause ultimate confusion and distress in the hope you will lose all logical thought and send money before you’ve had chance to think it through. Think of it as a power flip. Keep THEM waiting before you do anything. They might keep sending more messages. That’s good, it means they are getting desperate and showing how weak they are. The more they send, the more you can screenshot and use as evidence. The more they lose power as they try harder to install fear into you and they aren’t getting the reaction they want. 


It’s easy to think of these people as big hard men with weaponry who might turn up or try to ruin your life but in reality it can be a pair of gangly teenagers that have barely sprouted hairs on their chins or nether regions, or a bespeckled nerd in his Mum’s spare room. AI is so clever now, what we see on the internet is not always real so you MUST do your research. Some provider sites have feedback next to the profile, make sure you pay attention to this. Most good dommes have an online presence too, look to see if they are on social media and the sort of things the post and the relationship they have with others. You can tell a lot about a person from these things. This is not stalking, it’s practising self care and making sure you are dealing with a real person, so don’t be afraid to do this. 

If you find a profile you like but there’s no feedback or social media presence, ask them if you can book them via a website such as Onlyfans, Loyal fans, or any of the sites they use. If they say they don’t have this either I personally would be suspicious and it’s not worth taking a risk if they can’t offer you any solutions. 


Sadly, this has happened to quite a few subs I know. One sub turned up at a hotel years ago to visit a lady and two men rushed out of the bathroom and attacked him with a chair. Luckily he was a big fella and fought them off. The girl also ran out with him and it seems they had been trafficking her. You need to look out for not only yourself but understand that if you give money to faceless, voiceless people with no feedback, you could actually be funding sex trafficking. A grim thought.


On a lighter note, I used to have a lot of fun with the 419 scammers and louses of that ilk. I’d reply that I’d love to help but the bank closed my account down after I ran up £500,000k in debt after I became addicted to hookers (all nonsense of course) but if they could lend me £20 I could get a bus to my Uncles house, who might be able to help them because he is a lawyer. They never replied of course.


Another time, a ‘member of the illuminati’ (sorry spotty teenager) contacted me to say they liked my energy and wanted me to join the Illuminati….of course for a small fee. I lost around 3 minutes of my life writing an overfamilar e-mail in response, saying hello to my fellow brother, who would be excited to learn I was already a Lumi member! I finished by asking him to pass my love on to the Grandmaster Daddio.  


Again, no response. What a rude way to treat a fellow Lumi sister I say! 

Of course, engaging with blighters like this is probably not the best use of time but I have done so from time to time as I think, while I’m taking the absolute micky out of them, then they aren’t scamming anyone else. If you want to really waste their time, act interested for a while before you deliver the final blow. These clowns need a bit of modern day fookery from time to time.


Sign off with, “That ones for Auntie Noreen! I still can’t believe our relationship has come to this, I thought we had a future, you absolute cad. I’ll miss you!”


You’ll likely get blocked first before you need to block them. 


Stay safe and make life as hard as possible for these churlish barbarians. 

Love, laughter and light

Kaz B