Hello everyone, I write a weekly column for the Daily Sport and help readers with all kinds of personal problems from love and relationships through to fetish and sex.
If you would like to send in your problem, your private details such as your e-mail address will never be shared. You can e-mail me anonymously at firstname.lastname@example.org No problem to big or small!
Here is a selection from the many questions I received this week.
The problem is, I get attached far too easily. Every time I meet a new escort I fall for her and think that she might be the one. I usually end up seeing a lot of them, spending a lot of money on them and buying them expensive gifts. When they show interest in me I mistake that for something more meaningful and I end up popping the big question and asking them if they are looking for a boyfriend. My heart always ends up broken. How do I avoid this vicious cycle?
I just want to be in a relationship.
Clive, 47, Walsall
Why is it so important that you are in a relationship right now? Sometimes if you spend all your time fixating on a relationship, you may come across as clingy and put prospective partners off. A relationship is something that should come naturally when you meet some who is mutually attracted to you. You cannot force a relationship and it does sound as if you are causing yourself a lot of stress and heartache with this obsession.
I also think you are looking in the wrong places for love and you are not going to find it with an escort. An escort is paid to show interest in you and stroke your ego, but once her booking time is up, her interest in you will wane. You are focusing all your energy in the wrong place. Besides, do you really want to be with a woman you must share with others? Imagine you did start a relationship with an escort. What happens if you want her to stop escorting and she refuses? You are back to square one.
It sounds as if you are addicted to the buzz of seeing escorts and get a thrill from it and this is preventing you from finding a viable partner.
I feel the best thing for you would be to take a little break from seeing escorts and instead visit some bars, museums, anywhere that you can meet real people and form friendships. Some of the best relationships start out as friendships. It is very unhealthy to live the way you are doing so and I think you need to concentrate on yourself for a while, have some you time and invest in yourself.
Whilst you are focussed on seeing escorts, it’s unlikely you will meet your life partner. I think you know this deep down, so it is time to decide which is more important to you.
Please don’t feel ashamed. You are not alone, I have many fellas writing to me with similar scenarios. If you do return to seeing escorts, I would suggest you limit the amount of time you spend with each girl, so you do not get attached to them and whilst it is nice to give gifts, do not give these in the hope that it will make them fall in love with you as 99.9% of escorts will simply see you as a transaction.
Pluck up the courage to join a dating site like plenty of fish and get chatting to a few people. You do not need to rush anything or pop any questions too quickly. Just have a laugh, make some new friends and go on a few dates. The more dates you go on and the more friends you make, the more secure you will feel inside and you will be in a better frame of mind when you do finally meet ‘The One.’
I wish you the best of luck.
I have a bit of a peculiar fetish. A couple of times a month I like to book an escort but I never want sex.
I pop into the supermarket beforehand and buy a big bag of ring doughnuts, a bag of carrots and a pot of jam. I like the escort to throw the doughnut rings onto my firm member and then laugh at me.
Once a few rings are on, I enjoy having a carrot inserted into my bottom, then I like being made to squat and dip my member in the jar of strawberry jam until I am completely satisfied.
I am now feeling that it would be an amazing thrill if she dipped the carrot in the strawberry jam before inserting it into my rectum. Is this safe?
Denver, 34, Newquay
That is one of the most creative fetishes I have heard of, and a calorie free way to enjoy sugary treats – I applaud you in your originality. This does sound like a fun game to play, although I think it would leave me feeling rather peckish!
It seems you are concerned whether inserting strawberry jam into the rectum may cause you some health issues. Any liquid based food item is likely to escape the next time you visit the bathroom, so you need not worry about it becoming trapped, unless you intend to pour litres of jam inside, which is obviously not a great idea!
Jam does have a very high sugar content and could encourage the yeast in your rectum to breed and cause a little soreness and itching if you overdo it. I would suggest getting a good pro-biotic to reduce the likelihood of this happening. If you were happy to substitute the jam for a pro-biotic yoghurt that would be ideal, although it may not give you the exact sensation that you are looking for.
Oh, and it goes without saying, probably best not to eat the jam afterwards! That could make morning breakfast with the family feeling a little uncomfortable!
Enjoy your sweet treats and play safe!