The Importance Of Bum Towels!

Fetish Play & Hygiene: The salt n pepper standard for any kinky play!

As you, the reader glances at this blog, you might be quite mystified at the notion of bum towels. Well, please allow me to explain.

Many of my slaves who frequent my premises enjoy a jolly good rogering with my strap on! It’s a thoroughly enjoyable process for them and very entertaining for me. It allows me to transform them from CEO’s and managers into well…..Kaz’s little bitches! There’s no finer sight than a chap high up the social ladder, forced to his knees and begging to take my glorious instrument…and I am not talking about the saxophone!

There’s just one teensy little side effect of strap on play that I have to make provisions for…and that is leakage! Sexy huh?

Now and again, I’ll be pulling a massive towel out of the cupboard to cover my top sheet with and my sub will say “What is the towel for Mistress?” Perhaps they fear I am going to mummify them or make them wear it like a Greek Goddess would wear her toga.

In answer, I think to myself, ‘To put a barrier between my top sheet and your backside once it get shitty, because half way through strap on play….it will!’

Instead, because I’m oh so very British and because I don’t want to kill the mood I say “I plan to use a lot of lube on you slave which I don’t want to get on the bed.”

This code works pretty darn well with most of my slaves, who then take this hint promptly and ensure that the towel is always beneath their bottom. I love these slaves. They are my absolute favourites and I feel like high fiving them for their attention to detail. I don’t obviously. That would be weird.

Then there are the other type of slaves. The ones that keep wriggling around so that the long dribbling of tainted, yellowing lube escaping from their back passage is constantly threatening to break out of it’s prison and splatter onto my top sheet, causing devastation and carnage!

Sometimes, they seem to knot the towel up into the tightest and most ineffective ball with their knees, and I practically have to fight them and batter them out the way to smooth the towel down. They are of course completely oblivious to my efforts to keep that towel in prime position!

Then there are slaves that take this level of recklessness one step too far. I will withdraw my strap on from said anus, go to fetch them some wet wipes so I can give them a thorough mopping down, but then sometime terrible happens. As I turn back to face them, I see to my absolute horror that not only have they moved their botty into a restricted area, but they have sat their shitty bottom right down on my bed spread, the towel curled up uselessly beside them.


For me, this is a moment of abject horror and I am certain I struggle to keep the death stare from my expression. Despite wanting to brush it aside (the matter, not the poop) and carry on in a chirpy manner, all I can think of from that point is cleaning the sheets and putting the bed spread on a hot wash!  All my kinky thoughts disappear out of the window and I start breaking out into cold sweat! A bead of perspiration works it’s way down my furrowed brow and I can feel my jaw clenching as I continue to stare at them like a mad woman. I am forced to bite down hard on my tongue to stop myself from yelling “What the hell have you DONE! Are you mental?”

After this point I continue the session and finish,  but I am literally going through the motions as I wonder what temperature to wash my velvet bed sheet on.  I will not be free from these tortured thoughts until I can see my bedding spinning round on a 50 degree cycle, with lashings and lashings of washing powder on top!

So when I tell you that the towel is important, believe me. It is sacred in fact. If you want your Mistress to enjoy the session as much as you, you must worship the towel and ensure that it protects your bottom and any radioactive fallout that may occur!

I am not alone in this. I have been in many duo sessions and watched other Mistresses grimace, a look of utter revulsion as a brown globule flies out of a slave’s gloop chute and onto the bed below. So my best advice, is this: Douche throughly before any kind of anal play and treat the towel like the treasured item it is. After all, who wants to be remembered as ‘The Slave With The Shitty Bum!’

I hope you found my blog insightful and have an amazing day all!

Mistress Kaz x