Sex Toy Trends

Sex toy trends are forever evolving.  Since the dawn of the Rampant Rabbit in the mid 90’s, sex toy manufacturers have been looking for the next big thing. Trawling social media sites and spending a small fortune on research has been an effective method of finding out exactly what the public want! It seemed that consumer needs were being more complex. They didn’t want just a phallic vibrator, they wanted anal stimulation, they wanted pulsing, thrusting, flashing lights, silent buzzing, something that would hit the male G-spot,  couples toys made for sharing and more besides! We saw a wonderful array of ever changing vibrators and sex toys, all promising to hit those hard to reach hot spots, whilst offering a unique selling point.

Oh, but it doesn’t end there! Over a decade later, the ever so trendy We-Vibe hit the shelves in 2008, marketed as a product that could be used alone, or with your partner. I tried it both variants and found option 1 didn’t hit the spot and option 2 made me feel as if I really needed a Wee! I can see how the name was inspired!

Just after the book Fifty Shades Of Grey was released, the public went wild for handcuffs, bondage gear and spanking paddles, and the world of fetish was embraced!

Shortly after, toy manufacturers seemed to split into two groups. Those that made everything more colourful, more sparkly with rainbows, unicorns and fluff! The other group decided to take the technological route and opt for a simpler design, but a more advanced bedroom gadget that you could operate via your smartphone, or use to get your rocks off with sonic waves instead of vibrations! When choosing sex toys, some consumers will opt for style and visual appeal whilst others will choose functionality.

Gender Neutral Sex Toys

Picobong created a gender neutral toy that claimed to do EVERYTHING!

It´s a rabbit vibe, a clitoral massager, a cock-ring, a G-spot stimulator, a prostate massager and more. It’s a double-ended vibrator.

Wow! That sounds like an ambition piece of kit. Lets start with the name, Transformer. Already it sounds kind of macho and summons up visions of Autobots and Decepticons battling it out in the ring – oo-er Miss, but I’m a big fan superhero and villain themes, so that wouldn’t put me off. Moving onto the design, it’s a black silicon loop that remind me of a pair of ear phones with buds on each end. Whilst it doesn’t appear particularly pleasing on the eye and is visually dull to say the least, on the plus side it is pretty inconspicuous and would easily pass for something completely innocent in your bedside drawer. Just don’t let your little l’un’s try and plug them into their smart phones, they really do look like headphones!

Anyway back to the quote! I haven’t actually used the product myself so I am not qualified in giving it a rating. However, based on my initial observations, it’s strikes me as a Jack of all trades and master of none. It seems popular now for sex toy developers to try and over complicate things with a toy that tries to do too many things.  It’s kind of like when you open a bottle of gloop in the hotel bathroom and is says ‘Shampoo, Soap, Conditioner, Clothes Detergent – all in one!’ Well, it’s probably going to freshen up your hair but try getting a brush through it afterwards! Usually a product can do many things poorly or one thing brilliantly. I’d rather have the latter.

McWank With An All In One Joy Sucker

There is nothing wrong in having multiple toys for different uses. It makes it more fun, routing through the toy box and mixing and matching your toys! Toy developers would be better off making twin kit items that compliment one another, than trying to jam every possible function into one device. Is it really that important that we save time when wanking? Modern life has made us busier with longer commutes, working hours and less leisure time. Many of the populace have turned to fast foods instead of home cooking to save time and scanning Tinder and Grinder, instead of going out to the pub to meet someone of the opposite sex. Are we that short of time now that we need one sex toy that does absolutely everything! Life cannot have become so incredibly hard, that we are happy to settle for a McWank with an all in one joy sucker! Fuck me, what next? A sex toy that wakes me up when I programme it to with an orgasm, cooks my toast, boils the kettle for my coffee and reminds me of my appointments for the day ahead? Erm, actually yes! Sex robots are the future and one day nearly every household will own one.

The Rise Of Sex Robots And ‘Roids

Initially, it all sounds very exciting, not to mention convenient, but are we becoming too reliant on technology for the most simplest of things? Will we have forgotten how to multitask? Or how to get oneself off without the use of online porn and handy triple-wank-fest devices?

Normal human relationships are probably the first thing that will be affected. You can just imagine it, “You give more attention to that bloody robot than me. We’re over!”  “Well at least he/she/gender neutral robo knows where my G-spot is/Doesn’t leave the loo seat up!”

With a sexy robo-hunk or Android-babe that gives you orgasms and makes your dinner, will humanity still seek out real human relationships? Some will and some won’t. For some, it will be easier to couple up with their preferred ‘roid’ and avoid the agony of first dates and idle chit chat. For the most, I think human company is a basic human need. It’s a longing that will not diminish.

Personally, I’m pro-technology and love gadgets, but when something claims to ‘Vibrate/stimulate/Communicate and Evaluate what time of the day I’m horniest, it just feels far too clinical. If you want an orgasm, you want an orgasm, not a kinky pet Tamogochi/sex life coach that tracks how many orgasms you’ve had in a week, or how many beats per minute your heart pulsed, whilst taking it for a test drive. Just give me a good old fashion rampant rabbit any day – heavy on the glitter and sparkles!