I was having a conversation with my slave the other day and saying that it was great to see how comfortable he is with his fetishes. I explained how I had a few subs that sometimes felt shame afterwards and would need reassurance or would sometimes appear to get depressed and disappear before returning to me full of beans a few weeks later.
“Ah they are probably experiencing sub drop.” he concluded.
I had never heard this term before, but when he explained it to me all of a sudden everything made sense. I then read up on the topic to find out more.
So what is sub drop?
During a session of intense play, a subs fight or flight response is activated causing the release of endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and other chemicals to flood his or her system. This sensation has been described at times to being similar to morphine in the way it can cause the subs pain tolerance to increase and gives the slave a high.
What goes up must come down!
A day or so later the sub can experience the drop as his body has been depleted of many essential chemicals. This is especially common I have discovered in pro domme/sub relationships, especially when the sub feels separated from his Mistress and from the BDSM lifestyle. The sub may experience lethargy, fatigue and a low mood. This is extremely common and subs may start to doubt the lifestyle and feel shame and disgust towards themselves and their kinks.
As far as I know there is no cure for sub drop, but there are a few things you can do to help your mind and body cope and rebalance more quickly.
I may be a domme but I also realise that my subs are human beings with feelings. I always offer a hug at the end of a session as I believe hugs are healing for the mind, body and soul.
Here are a few suggestions to help combat the dreaded drop!
You’ll need to feed your body with plenty of vitamins including B vitamins. Include fresh vegetables, lean protein, eggs and whole grains. Resist the urge to cheer yourself up with sugary snacks as it will only exacerbate your condition.
Support your system with feel good herbs such as ginseng (an adaptogen that helps nourish the body, combat fatigue and counter stress) and St Johns Wort or 5HTP which will help alleviate feelings of depression and help you to sleep more deeply. These herbs will help to elevate your serotonin levels and boost your mood.
If you feel anxious or agitated I recommend L-Theanine – an extract also found in green tea that will help you feel calm and focused.
Sunshine and Exercise
Sunshine provides valuable vitamin D to the body and also boosts serotonin levels in the brain, but it’s not always possible to get plenty of sunshine if you live somewhere cold like Britain. However even just getting out in the fresh air and going for a walk can help. Exercise is a great way to boost your mood and rebalance your body whether your are pounding it out in the gym or taking a stroll in the park.
Say to yourself ‘I am feeling this way because I have sub drop. It is temporary and it will pass.’ Be aware of small changes in your mood and notice what triggers them. Keep a journal or diary if it helps as this can be highly therapeutic in itself.
Surround yourself with like minded people.
Not many kinksters will have friends who share the same lifestyles, however it is a lot easier to make like minded friends than you think. Consider attending a ‘munch’ which are events and meets ups for those who follow the BDSM lifestyle. You can find a wide array of groups on sites such as fetlife. There are events all over the country every month for kinksters and fetishists such as the London fetish fair or the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar that always holds an after party after market day and shopping. Kinkster tend to be extremely welcoming open and friendly to every from any walk of life. Don’t feel embarrassed or as if you won’t be wanted. These groups are open to everyone and you will be made to feel very welcome.
Most importantly, remember that without the lows you wouldn’t enjoy the highs as much. If money was no object and you could visit a dom every day, not only would you be thoroughly sore, but after a while you would cease to get the same high and would seek more and more extreme practises.
I hope you enjoyed reading my blog and find it of some use. I would like to know if you have experienced sub drop and what you do help yourself get through it. Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and suggestions.