Most can probably relate to the pressures of modern society and the need to respond to messages. If you are a domme, times this by at least 20 as not only do you have text messages and Whatsapps incoming but most likely multiple social media streams and sites where you will receive messages and have to try and keep track of and remember who sent what and where. Now add this to a hectic week, timewasters and chronic texters who panic and send dozens of messages in a row if you don’t reply because you are busy, it’s the weekend or 3am in the morning – and it’s likely to drive you insane. This is when you need to just switch off your work phone and cease all contact, and do things that bring you joy and help you unwind until you feel recharged.
This isn’t me venting or complaining but an observation – men and women think very differently. If a women makes a statement such as – “I’m tired” or “I need some alone time” men always look for solutions and want to fix it. Whilst I can be very extrovert, I am actually an introvert which means I regain my energy by spending time alone, in nature or having a low key day with minimal to no screen time. It doesn’t mean I’m seeking attention, or that I’m feeling sad. These days I tend to ask if I need advice or a friendly ear.
I am pretty simple and aim to be as transparent as possible – I literally mean what I say and in the words of Greta Garbo – “I want to be alone!” (Though she later said the phrase was – ‘I want to be left alone.”
There is no fixing or problem solving to be done, yet true extroverts struggle to understand this because they rebuild their energy by being around others. They don’t understand how us introverts can happily lose a couple days in a good book, enjoying a nature trail or sorting our sock drawers into colour and height of sock. Wouldn’t life be dull if we were all the same!
Some of your subbies might worry a little if your usual pattern changes but ultimately they will understand.
It doesn’t matter how you decide to spend your you-day or weekend. The important thing is that you do something you enjoy, that uplifts you and don’t feel that you need to be glued to your screen.
Newer Dommes might currently be wondering why there is a surge in timewasting messages currently and the simple and most accurate answer is – it’s football season! Fellas finally have an excuse to go to the pub, stay late and get plastered. They will send all kinds of nonsense when they are trollied off their boxes and horny. The likelihood of them turning up with a hangover is minimal, so a good rule of thumb is to not take any bookings an hour after the footy has started unless they cough up a hefty deposit. Think of it as a wanker tax – payment for all the drivel they will send between when the drinking begins and the hangover starts!
Looking after yourself starts and ends with you. There’s a famous quote – givers have to learn to set limits because takers rarely do and never a truer word was said. You are entitled to have full autonomy over your energy, who has access to you and when you give energy to others. It doesn’t matter how many messages somebody sends or if they get the hump or ‘their feelings are hurt’ because you aren’t prioritising them over your mental health.
My work phone free weekend has been the most productive and rejuvenating one for a long time. I’ve saved £22 per month on my phone bill by popping in to my phone provider. Other activities included buying some herbs and crystals I’ve been trying to get hold of for ages, cooking Korean food, packaging and freezing ingredients for veg smoothies in the week, a nature trail, collecting nettles for tea, saving an injured butterfly from the roadside and feeding it sugar water. Also, I’m three quarters of the way through a craft project. Usually by Sunday I’m so drained I just want to watch Netflix, so it just goes to show how much of an impact phones can have on your energy levels.
Obviously this was all done on Gliese 12b as mentioned on Twitter. The aliens absolutely insisted I visit their home planet 😉
By Monday, I was feeling energised and excited to get back to things and be social again because I’ve actually had some quality time off – I can highly recommend it!
Dommes, don’t forget to take care of yourselves. Your health is everything and it’s the real thing you actually have because without it, we have nothing.
Love & Light
Princess Kaz
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